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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22486459">To be, or not to be.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllaReadsWitches/pseuds/EllaReadsWitches'>EllaReadsWitches</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Greenleaf (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Choose Your Own Ending, F/F, F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 14:29:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,903</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22486459</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllaReadsWitches/pseuds/EllaReadsWitches</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>She thought she done the right thing for her family. She thought they would in return allow her to preach. To do something other than singing, other than brushing her off, but they hadn't. They still looked at her to be unstable. Which added salt in the wounds and so because of their disloyalty to her she had to find her own way.<br/></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Charity Greenleaf / Phil Demars</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. To Be or Not to Be</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Okay.<br/>So, I've been watching Greenleaf for quite some time now. Basically, since their second season and now, they're on the fourth season and I can't wait for the 5th season to come out. And all, throughout the seasons Charity has been my favorite. It's like I have a thing for characters who are the underdogs of T.V. shows because I relate to them more in a way. As for Charity, if you watch the show you know her family Lowkey treat her like trash even before all this drama happened and it only got worse after she lost a twin and no one paid attention to her when she clearly said, "She wasn't happy" and was literally laughing through her tears. I just felt so, bad for her and I still do. She's also, a Winans encase y'all didn't know. Which makes me love her even more because my favorite Winans is Cece, of course lol. ughh I just love them. <br/>But I hope y'all enjoy. I also, have like three other pairings for Charity as well with her getting together with Percy, Michael, and or Bob to make things more complicated for her. <br/>Also, if y'all watched the episode when Sofia left after Grace told her about A.J. it's kind of like that with Charity and their parents but WORSE because of how dramatic Lady Mae can be.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>"Phil."</em> Charity said, as she met him within the church walls. "Not now, Charity." He brushed her off. "I'm trying to arrange plans for me and Juddee's wedding." He told her. Hearing that stung. Phil turned his back as soon as Charity gave the vote over to her family to get Calvary back. He warned her that her family still wouldn't give her the time of day and he was right. But she wasn't here for that she had other news to tell him. "Phil." Charity nearly whined again this time standing up on her tippy toes trying to get his attention. She needed to tell him before Judee had gotten back from today's meeting. "What is it?" He barked at her losing his temper. She gulped. "I-I'm pregnant." She whispered to him. Right then, his heart stopped. "Hm?" He said placing his two hands in his dressed pants pocket. Charity stood face-to-face with him his eyes looking in her eyes.<em> "I'm pregnant."</em><br/>Charity said again this time the door opening to Judee who was standing outside listening had just interrupted them. She nearly stumbled into the room surprised at the news. She looked at the two of them. "Judee, I can explain." Phil said to his fiancé. "No, need too." She eerily smiled. "I don't care that she's pregnant, Phil."<br/>Judee had started to say. "All I care is that you're mine." She smiled taking his chin to kiss him on the lips right in front of Charity. "The three of us can discuss how we're going to go about this at dinner." Judee smiled. "We wouldn't want the babe to be in an unwelcoming family environment do we, now?" Judee said as she walked out of the office. "Are you sure it's my child?"</p><p>Phil asked as soon as the coast was clear. "Phil." Charity scolded him offended. "I'm not some slut who just sleeps with anybody." She whispered not knowing who else may be listening. "I just had to make sure." Phil said as he placed his hands over her shoulders to pull her close. "It's such a shame, the three of us could've been a family." He cooed kissing the crown of her forehead. Charity backed away from him. "What's that's supposed to mean?" Charity asked confused and hurt by his remark. "It means that you could have been my wife and we wouldn't have had to worry about Judee, if you would've just gave me your vote." Phil told her as he sat down on his desk. "But you didn't." He sighed. "You decided to give the church to your family and now look at you, still at square one." He pointed out. <em>"Way to be a jerk, Phil."</em> Charity said as she left the office offended. "See, you at dinner tonight." Phil yelled out.</p><p>Back at home, Lady Mae and James were preparing to get back the church. It had been a month since, Bob Whitmore was out. The church was glad of it. Just as the family was all except for one. Charity. She had came home a bit early from the dinner with Judee and Phil to talk about their future child. It was a wonder to her why, Judee even inserted herself into this when she wasn't involved.<br/>Technically, she was to be Phil's wife which meant she would be the stepmother of his child. But It still seemed strange to her. Just as she was coming up into the family meeting room she heard her siblings talking to their parents about the church. She stepped outside the door, eavesdropping.<br/>"Well, that was certainly a surprising twist." She heard her father, James, say to them. "Yeah, I thought, Charity was gonna hand over the church to Bob." Grace said as she took a sip of wine. She listened some more not knowing what to make of her sister's comment.<br/>“Maybe the talks you gave her worked, pop." Jacob said patting his dad on the back for a job well done. "Sometimes I wonder about that child." Mae piped in finishing the last of her wine. "Nearly, gave me a heart attack knowing that the church was in her hands." Mae sharply, said. "Literally, the palm of it." She pronounced all to clearly for Charity's liking.</p><p>"Yeah, remember how she freaked out earlier on about not being able to preach." Grace commented again. "I still think she's unstable." Jacob looked to his oldest sister a bit shocked. "What?" Grace said folding her arms while holding her wine glass. "It's true, you know it's true, Jacob." Grace said. <em>"You know she's been trying to better herself."</em> Jacob said trying to defend, Charity while she's gone. Grace rolled her eyes at the comment knowing Jacob was only being the big brother that he was. But he didn't have to do it all the time. "So, dad. Are you going to let her preach?" Grace asked concerned. <em>"Goodness, no."</em> James quickly said shaking his head. "I'm never going to let her preach again." He told them. Jacob once again was surprised. "It's not that she's bad but it's just not good enough." James said trying to put it lightly. "Plus, what does Charity even know about preaching?" He hypothetically asked them. "I, too agree with Grace. I don't think she's all the way there." James said worrisome about his baby girl. "It's a wonder if she slept with Phil." Grace said putting the wine glass up to her lips sipping on it. "Excuse me?" Lady Mae said almost choking.<em> "Grace."</em> Jacob whispered to her. <em>"What about Charity sleeping with Phil?"</em> James asked concerned. <em>"You weren't supposed to know."</em> Grace mumbled letting it slip. "Well, did she sleep with him?" Mae asked, flabbergasted. She looked towards Jacob. He turned his head the other way. "No." Mae nearly yelled. "Grace?" Mae asked looking towards her eldest daughter. "<em>Tell me she didn't.</em>" Mae said wanting an answer but by the looks of it.<br/>Charity had done the unthinkable. "Y<em>eah, mama.</em>" Grace mumbled moving her hair out of her face still holding that same wine glass. "Ugh, I can't believe her." Mae gasped. "Let's pray to God that child won't turn up pregnant." Mae hissed. "Mae, calm down." James said trying to get control of the situation. "James, Charity is turning out to be a whore." Mae said, calling Charity out of her name.</p><p>They watched Mae take a sip of her drink. "This is unbelievable." Mae whined. "B<em>ut mama, the most important thing is we got the church back.</em>" Grace said trying to re-direct the conversation. Then, it hit her. "She didn't sleep with Phil or Bob to get the church back did she?" Mae lightly gasped. "No, mama." Grace said again. "It was purely the vote." Grace said re-assuring her parents. Mae nodded her head.</p><p>"Okay, I'll talk to her tomorrow."<br/>Mae told them. "Mama, please don't mention any of this to Charity she's gonna hate me even more if she found out I told." Grace warned her. Mae sighed nodding her head. "Don't worry about it." Mae said, "All will be fine." She her adult children.</p><p>"And...Oh, thank you two for not calling Charity." Mae said before she and James forgot. They didn't want another episode happening. They didn't know how she would react after she had given their vote to them when they basically lied to her just as Phil did.</p><p>Charity listened behind the walls of the room tears brimming in her eyes. Her family really thought she was unstable? But more specifically what they really meant was crazy. If Karissa was there at least she would've been honest about it. They never trusted her to begin with even before when she was stable as they so, claimed.<br/>It wasn't that she was unstable or crazy. It was just that she was having a heart time with the lost of one of her twins and her divorce especially after they had forced their way into her business making her relationship with Kevin unnecessarily messy when it wasn't.<br/>But that wasn't all that shocked her tonight. She basically learned on her own that Aaron had been Grace's brother which meant that Grace was their half sister and that Kevin left her for Grace's brother. She stood there trying to gather herself trying not to make herself known to them. She backed away from the room making her way upstairs.</p><hr/><p><em>"If he loves you he'll wait for you."</em> Charity said to herself as she was trying to relax in the tub repeating lies that her father had told her about Phil. She couldn't believe she felt for that. She couldn't believe she felt for Phil and she was two months Pregnant with his child. She wiped away the tears that were falling from her eyes. "Yeah, we'll make sure you'll get a turn in preaching." Charity mumbled to herself. "We'll listen to you more." She muttered as she sunk lower into the bubble bath that she ran for herself. She replayed all the lies her family told her just so she could do what they wanted and what did she get from it nothing really. Nothing fulfilling. She replayed the word in her head that her mother called her tonight.<em> "Whore."</em> She mumbled to herself as she washed her arms. She never thought she would ever be called that by her own family let alone her mother. No, matter how many times Grace or Jacob slept around and or outside of their marriage, Charity has never heard their parents complained to them. But when she does it a few times twice as a divorced woman who in fact, did not cheat on her spouse...She's a whore. They so readily forgave Jacob when he cheated on Karissa and Grace for having A.J.</p><p>"But no, not me, for being in <em>a sex-deprived marriage</em> when my husband only wanted me when he felt like it which was almost never. So, forgive me if I wanted some more." Charity said to herself as more tears came pouring down. She then, realized her family took her for a fool and it hurt. She was just hurting all those other times and no one cared enough to listen at least like they did for Faith or Grace. Hell, Jacob even had help when him and Karissa had his issues and a host of problems were happening. But no, not Charity they didn't have time to listen to her issues just as they did everyone else's. She too had a child die inside of her and no one cared that her living baby had to go through that? In a matter of weeks, she lost everything she ever loved and no one thought to ask her about it outside of being nosy. That stung.</p><p>Still upset and un-relaxed, Charity had finished with her bath drying herself out while letting out the water. She changed into her two piece laced night gown getting into bed. Nathan, had been over at Kevin's for the weekend which meant Charity had some time to herself. But she missed her baby. It wasn't fair that everyone was getting on with their lives and Kevin and Aaron was already married by a court in a matter of weeks and everyone seemed happy for them. Unable to sleep, Charity awoke to a clock that read 2:00am. She got up looked for a suitcase in her closet. She started packing some of her clothes to take with her and some of Nathan's clothes. After, she was done she changed into a light comfortable outfit. Black jeans, a black shirt, and a black jacket. She took one look back at her room and turned the lights out, closing the door and walking downstairs.</p><p>Fortunately, for Charity everybody was asleep or so, she thought. She was able to make her way out of the house and to her car.</p><p>"<em>James.</em>" Mae whispered waking her husband up. "Did you hear that?" Mae asked him. "<em>Hear what</em>?' He mumbled in his sleep his wife shaking him in bed. "That." Mae panicked. "Go check it out to see who that is?" Mae asked him. "It's probably just Charity." James said not realizing what he had just said. "<em>CHARITY!</em>" They both shouted rushing to put on decent clothes to stop there daughter from whatever they were doing. They heard the garage door open. They were running out of time. "Mom, what's going on?" Grace said coming out of her room as she saw her parents running down the steps. "No, time to chat right now." Mae said out of breath as James followed behind. Just then, Jacob opened up his room door as well as the two girls. "<em>Stay here</em>." Jacob told his niece and his daughter. <em>"Charity!</em>" Mae yelled out to their baby girl who was pulling up her car to leave. "<em>BABY GIRL, STOP</em>!" James yelled at her trying to stop her. Charity kept driving slowly, ignoring her parents and the rest of her family. When her father called to her a second time she turned to him with shades on. It had been obvious she had been crying. Mae, eyes widened her mouth slightly, opened. Right before, Charity let her foot off of the brake the two girls came out of the house. "<em>Is she leaving</em>?" Zora asked concerned as she saw her favorite auntie start to pull off. Mae, looked towards her granddaughter. "<em>I-</em>". She rushed back inside of the house to get her car keys. "MAE!" James called after his wife. "<em>WAIT, AUNT CHARITY DON'T LEAVE!</em>" Zora cried out running after her auntie car. Charity looked through her rear view mirror to see her niece flagging her down. But she couldn't stop. It was now or never. She needed to leave to get away from her parents. She hoped, Zora would understand.</p><p>Once, Charity was out of the driveway the family looked on shocked. "I can't BELIEVE SHE LEFT!" Zora screamed. "WHAT DID YOU DO?!" She cried out blaming her father. "<em>ME?!</em>" Jacob said offended. "<em>Did she leave?!</em>" Mae asked running back out towards her car. She just pulled out of the driveway they all told her. "I'll drag her back home if that's the last thing I do." Mae said as she made a move for her car. But not before, James stopped her."Mae, wait. You aren't driving, I'll drive." He said going after his wife. "I'm a bring my baby back home." James mumbled as he marched down the steps as Mae still pulled up the car.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Losing Touch</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">“Charity!”<br/>Mae called out to her daughter as James drove on the right hand side of her. Charity kept her window up not winding it down and not looking to her left.She didn’t need them and they didn’t need her. They had already proven that tonight. She thought. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">“Honey, roll down your window!” Mae yelled at her. Charity heard her mother’s muffled voice. She ignored her. Just like they ignored her. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2"><em>“Charity. Baby girl, come on, listen to your mother!”</em> James said trying to coax her into listening. ‘<em>That won’t work this time.</em>’ She said to herself. Her dad somehow always knew how to get through to her. But tonight wasn’t going to be that. Huffing, Mae winded up her window taking out her phone as James followed Charity. “Mae, what are you doing?” James asked as he saw his wife dialing a number. “<em>I’m calling her, James, something you didn’t think of.</em>” She scolded. She had dialed her number.<br/>She knew Charity could answer without being distracted from the road. She hoped she would answer at least, accidentally. The phone had been ringing and Mae kept looking out the window. Charity was speeding at an alarming rate. The phone continued to ring until, Charity hung up on them. It went straight to voice mail. “Charity, slow down!”</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2"> Mae pleaded with her daughter, <em>“Just come back home and we can talk about whatever it is that’s bothering you.”</em> </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">This time Mae was honest. <em>She wanted to get to the bottom of this but had it been too late?</em> James speed up behind their daughter following her. They were shocked that Charity even knew how to drive the way she did. They followed her for about two hours before they lost her. Or before she lost them. “<em>Damn it.</em>” Mae hissed, placing a frustrated hand over her forehead. “I can’t believe we lost her.” She mumbled to herself. “We didn’t lose her, Mae.” James said confidently. “She’ll come back home when she’s good and ready.” This James was hopeful. </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="s2">It was 5am when Mae and James walked through their Greenleaf mansion without their youngest daughter. Both Grace and Jacob had been waiting for their return back with Charity in hand. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">“Did you get her?” Grace said as she heard her parents footsteps through the kitchen. Jacob following behind her. “No.” Mae dryly said. “We were after her for two hours. Tried calling, she hung up. She speed up. We just couldn’t keep up with her.” Mae said sounding defeated. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">“Don’t worry mama she’ll come back.” Grace said trying to comfort their mother. She couldn't believe her sister would do such a thing. Jacob wondered why, Charity would even leave in the middle of the night the way that she did. He started to think. "Ma, we need to call, Kevin." He said speaking up. Mae turned to look at him while Grace's arm was still on her mother's shoulder. "You're right." Mae agreed with him. "He could keep tabs on her for us."<br/></span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">"Smart thinking, Jacob." Mae said as she kissed the crown of her son's head walking away to call, Kevin.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">"Hello?" A grudgy voice said on the other end of the line.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">"Kevin." Mae quickly piped up.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">"Lady Mae?" Kevin said squinting his eyes looking at the time on the clock. "<em>Wh-?</em>" Kevin started to say.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">"<em>Charity left</em>." She interrupted him before he could ask any other questions.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">"<em>Could you keep tabs on her for us</em>?" Mae asked, "She's not answering our calls." It almost sounded to Kevin like she was pleading. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">He turned back around the clock nearly smirking. But then, he remembered he was in hot water with Charity as well after she found out about Aaron being Grace's real brother. But nonetheless, Kevin still thought of a way to use Charity. "Alright, I'll keep an eye out for her." Kevin said after Lady Mae hung up the phone. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">"Who was that?" Aaron asked as he saw what time it was. "It was Mae, Charity just left." Kevin told him. Aaron sighed running his hand over his head after thinking about today's events. "Maybe she just needs to cool off." Aaron suggested as they went back to sleep. </span>
</p><hr/><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2"><em>It was 7am and Charity was still on the road driving. She didn't know where she was headed too. But she knew she just needed to get away from everyone and everything. She wanted her baby there with her. But she knew he couldn't be around her not in her state of mind. She was still silently, crying to herself. She couldn't keep her mind off of how she was hurting for the past few years and how she was silently, dealing with depression by herself. She felt like she wanted to do the worse. She felt like she wanted to end it. But she knew she couldn't do that to Nathan. He needed her. She knew he did. No matter how bad things got, Nathan always wanted his mommy. She drove until she found herself in West Memphis, TN. It was far enough away from her family but not to far so that, Kevin could ever threaten her again. She found a decent hotel. She didn't really care for the luxuries of it. She just needed the basic necessities. A microwave, a working bathroom/tub, and a mini fridge. This would be her home until she found a place.</em> </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="s2">Weeks had gone by and Charity still wasn't returning phone calls from her family. The only people who she were in contact with was Wanda, Carlton, Kevin, and <em>occasionally</em>, Phil, since, Judee inserted herself into everything they did for their expectant child. She came by every two weeks to see her son. She went clothes shopping for him after she found her a job working still as a gospel songwriter for one of the local churches. It was ironic really. How she ran from that life to end up at it again. But only at a different setting. By this time she was nearing three months pregnant and her stomach had grown a considerable amount. She found out she was having another girl. The news almost brought her to tears right there in the hospital room where they had done the ultrasound. But she held it back. When she left out of the doctor's office she called, Phil to tell him what they were having. On the other end, she heard, Judee for some odd reason, Judee was surprisingly, happy for them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span class="s2">About a month later, James tried calling, Charity's cell phone to see if she wanted to talk or to try to get her to come back home. No, one wanted to admit it. But it was boring without Charity. She was truly, the heart of their family and they didn't see that until she was gone. Of course, Charity had made some mistakes in the beginning with Phil, but doesn't everybody? They saw that now. But it was too late. </span>
</p><hr/><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">"Mae." The Bishop said, when he walked into her office. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">"<em>What is it James</em>?" She asked as she looked at her husband. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">"I couldn't get a hold of Charity she changed her number." James told her.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">"<em>What</em>?" Mae said, shocked at this news. She took out her phone trying to call her daughter. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">James had been right. "<em>That girl</em>." Mae huffed almost slamming down her cell phone. She couldn't believe that Charity had done such a thing without warning, without telling them that she was alright. "Karine!" Lady Mae called, out to her favorite employee. "Yes, Lady Mae." She said walking into their office. </span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">"Could you get Kevin on the phone for us?" Mae said, as she did her signature turn looking at Karine.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">"<em>Yes, Ma'am</em>." Karine said as she left their office.</span>
</p><p class="p3">
  <span class="s2">Minutes later, Kevin was on the line and the Greenleaf's were having at it with him. "What do you mean you didn't know she changed her number?" Mae scolded him. "Kevin, you were supposed to keep an eye out for us!" Mae hissed slamming her hand down on the Bishop's desk. "Look, I just found out from you two that she changed her number. Charity didn't even give me a head's up." Kevin said defending himself. Kevin could literally picture, Lady Mae rolling her eyes so, far back into her head that it killed him. "When's the next time she's supposed to come over?" Mae asked, not believing that she didn't think of this before. "Tomorrow at 6pm." Kevin told the grandparents. "<em>Stall her, until we get there</em>." Mae said hoping to see her daughter. She'd never admit to her face but she missed, Charity and needed to see her. She wanted to know her well-being. "<em>Alright</em>." Kevin said nearly holding his breath in knowing that they don't know she's pregnant again.</span>
</p>
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